The past year has been what seems to be a life lesson that I needed to experience. I have always been one to be overly confident in my abilities (at least when I was good at something), if not cocky about them. That is why this past year I am glad that things have not gone my way and that I have found myself needing to humble myself and put my trust into God's hands.
Ever since the passing of my Dad I have had a tough time getting myself motivated to workout and to eat right. I have gone back to not looking at what I am eating and gone back to eating too much. I do not portion control anymore and do not really know how to control myself when I'm around sweets. Now I know that I do not need to "diet" again, that much I have learned from my recent studies. What I do need to do, though, is stop getting sucked in by sweets and to start eating healthy again. I have gained 40 pounds back. That is a scary thought, but a very humbling one.
It hasn't just been my eating habits that have been effected. My work has gone down hill as well. I have gotten to the point at my job were I could lose it because of my performance. By no means is this the companies fault, I know what it is I am suppose to do. So in this past year it has been a big struggle to right the wrong of my sinking ship. That was until a month ago.
A month ago I realized that I was over confident in a lot of things that I would do. If something went right I had to make sure that everyone knew about it. It came to the point where my wife and my best friend finally started to call me out on it and remind me that I should be humble about accomplishments. I finally sat down and prayed about what it was that was going wrong. What came to me was a realization I wish I could have had earlier. The first was that I must humble myself. The second was that when we were getting close to moving out of our last house, we were told that everything would work out for the best. I keep putting everything on myself and not listening to what my Father in Heaven has assured us time and time again. It will work out. He has a plan for me and I am still realizing that I need to keep my end of the bargain, keep my covenants, and trust in Him.
Since coming to what I want to call rock bottom and realizing what it was I need to change things have started to look up for me. I do still struggle with weight but I am starting to regain motivation, if even a little at a time. Work is also starting to go better for me as well. I know that this is only a start and I have a lot of growing still to do. However, I feel I'm starting to head the right way again and hope that I do not slip to badly.